“Look for your choices, pick the best one, then go with it.” — Pat Riley
I know we don’t always get what we want. In some situations, we don’t have a choice, or the choices we do have are not exactly what we’d like. During those times, we have to choose whatever annoys us the least, and it’s never fun. There are times, however, when we can pick what we want, and I was reminded recently that a decision that others might think is unwise or silly is fun.
“What’s for supper?” As a mum of three, I heard this so many times I still have a slight twitch from time to time when I’m out of ideas and then realize I’m also out of bread, milk, eggs, peanut butter, and cereal. That doesn’t happen much anymore, thankfully. My empty nest means that no matter what, I can always dig up something for supper, even if it’s not something that came from the right part of the food pyramid.
The other night in my fridge, there was a package of chicken breasts, a dozen eggs, enough veggies for a nice salad, some leftover rice pilaf, a package of deli ham, and some fresh strawberries—plenty of options for plenty of delicious dishes. Do you know what I had? I had a piece of carrot cake from the bakery at the supermarket. Just one slice, because buying a whole carrot cake is a bad idea for me. I’d dashed into “the Basket” (IYKYK) to pick up some juice, and that piece of cake just called to me. I try to always listen when baked goods are talking to me; it’s the polite thing to do.
You know what is incredible? Realizing you are a fully grown adult and can do (within reason) pretty much whatever you want, especially when it comes to dinner choices. I grew up, went to enough school to think coherently, and have held what seems like seven hundred jobs in my life. I’ve raised three decent human beings, kept several pets alive for decades, and while I can be annoying, I am not dangerous. If I want a piece of carrot cake for supper, I will have one because I’m an adult and can make that choice.
It was delicious. Bits of shredded carrots make it almost a salad, right? It was probably made with eggs and whole wheat flour, too, which are healthy choices, at least in moderation. Even if it were a Twinkie or a Ring Ding, I’d still feel the same way—sometimes, you get to do something because you’re a grown-up and want to, and those days are amazing.
Think about all the times as kids that we needed permission slips to go on a school trip to the museu,m or the times we begged to stay up “just a little longer” to finish a game or a movie. As adults, we pick our own bedtimes. We go wherever we want, most of the time, and we don’t have to ask anyone if we’re allowed to watch South Park. For most options in life, we say when, we say who, we say how much. It’s wonderful!
Except when it’s not. I’ve been lucky; there haven’t been too many wrong choices, at least not lately. There were times, though, when my adulting didn’t go well, like the time I thought it would be a good idea to try the sushi that the gas station mini-mart sold. Pro tip: Do not ever have gas station sushi. Just don’t. Also, no matter what anyone says, don’t let your kids get a hamster.
Nothing bad happened because I had a piece of cake for dinner. In fact, I felt better than I have in a long time; there were no dishes to do, and I got to assert my adult autonomy, topped with cream cheese as a bonus. Does it get better than that?
If you need it, here it is: full permission to have a slice of cake, or any other treat you like, whenever you want. Life is short; have the cake, take the trip, buy yourself a little something. As long as it won’t hurt anyone, have at it. Just remember to be nice to others and brush your teeth before bed, at least most of the time.
Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.