“The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.” — Atisa
Most people know that appearances can be deceiving. Something can look special, but then turn out to be not so special. That was the case with an inexpensive pair of earrings I bought online. They looked cute and affordable, and I liked them, so I ordered them. What arrived could not be considered jewelry, but rather scrap metal.
The posts broke the first time I tried them on. Several emails to the company that sold them went unanswered, and they won’t refund my $5. It’s a lesson learned about falling for sketchy internet ads, but how many times do we look around us, at our neighbors, coworkers, and community, and start making judgments based only on what we can see on the surface?
We’ve all had those nosy moments, like that neighbor on Bewitched, Gladys Kravitz. She was constantly peeking out the window at the Stevens’ house, making all kinds of judgments based on a view through the curtains from 50 feet away. I live near the railroad tracks, and nothing would get done around the house if I looked out the window at every bike rider, jogger, and dog walker, so my nosy tendencies are limited at home. Still, at least a time or two, we have all done the window thing. You hear something, maybe a siren or some voices, and look out to see what’s happening. Since I don’t have the time Gladys had, I’ve become somewhat of a police scanner nerd. I used to keep it on because if a medical call happened, I might hear my daughter on the air, as she is a paramedic and would sometimes have shifts in town.
When I’m out and about, though? That is prime people watching for me. If it were an Olympic sport, a gold medal would be on my wall. It isn’t about judging people or picking on their clothes or looks; it’s just that I am a born observer. I want to look at everything. No one in my family can go to a museum with me because I have to read every card and every sign. I want to look at all the stuff, and then look at it again.
My children would dread a trip to the mall with me, even if it were for something they wanted. They knew that at some point, I would grab a coffee and sit on a bench with a running monologue on everyone who walked by us. I’d ask the kids questions, like did they think the person with all the bags might have a shopping addiction or just a lot of money and free time? What about that group of ladies that walked by three times? Are they shoppers or mall walkers? It’s not that cold out, so why is that guy over there wearing a winter coat?
It’s like that iceberg that took out the Titanic. It’s a fact that with icebergs, only about 10% of the total mass shows above the waterline. The rest of the bergs are underneath the water, unseen and unknown; we should learn from that. How much of ourselves do we reveal just by the clothes we choose, the cars we drive, and the stuff we own? We might see someone in a gorgeous outfit, or driving a fancy car, and think, “Wow, they sure have a great life.” Maybe they do, but people with fabulous clothes and nice cars can still have problems. Someone wearing ratty jeans and an old sweatshirt could be a millionaire, or maybe it’s just laundry day for them, and that is all they have around the house. Almost no one walks around advertising their entire life story, so we don’t really know as much about other people as we think we do.
I knew someone once who was a fantastic woman, wife, mother, and grandmother. She was super smart, and she’d had a pretty interesting life. She was never one to go by appearances. She always said, “Just scratch the surface, you’ll see what’s really there.” We all have surfaces and an outside appearance that doesn’t show everything we are. I always try to remember to look beyond the surface, and I sure hope people who might see me out and about do the same. Oh, and to my neighbor I ran into at the post office? Yes, I do own shoes, but I was having a day. We’ve all gone out in slippers for a quick errand, right? Ya, let’s go with that.
