“Sign, sign
Everywhere a sign
Blockin’ out the scenery
Breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign?”
— Les Emmerson
Recently, signs were put up about some construction road closures and parking issues that would be happening. It’s right near a place I go fairly often, so I took note. However, when I was in the area, I noticed that what was blocked off or detoured was more than what the notice mentioned. It’s not a huge deal, but it made me think of other signs and notices and how often they aren’t much help at all.
Whenever I go into Boston, I call a friend who lets me park at his home or figure out the closest parking garage. I swear you need a degree in linguistics or civil engineering to know what some of the signs in the North End mean. Yes, I get what “Resident only” means for parking. “No Parking” is pretty straightforward too. It’s when you see six signs on three lamp posts that say when you can park when you can’t park, and how long you can stay that makes it complicated.
I can park for two hours, Monday through Friday, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Fantastic — oooh, wait a second, hold that thought; on Mondays, they sweep from 7 a.m. to 11 a.m., so there is no parking then. Snow emergency? Also, no parking, but where do I find out if it’s a snow “emergency” in a neighborhood I don’t live in? Who decides when it becomes urgent? If there’s a Monday holiday, do the street sweepers work? What do the signs cover, federal or state holidays? If they don’t sweep on Monday, when is the makeup day?
I’d be lying if I said I always followed every rule and every sign, but I try only because I don’t feel like getting a ticket or getting tossed out of a restaurant or event. Confession time: There are dozens of signs around Fenway Park about how you can’t step on the grass on the field. I’ve been on the field at Fenway twice for events, and the first time, I put my feet on that hallowed grass, snapped a pic, and then asked forgiveness from the landscaping gods. Yes, it was wrong; 100% wrong. But it was just that once, and I promise never to be so foolish again. At least at Fenway.
It does, however, frost my cookies when I see others ignoring a rule or a sign on a daily basis. Those signs that tell you to pick up your dog waste? It’s not a suggestion; it’s common decency and a town bylaw. Take that poo with you! You might not want to carry it, but I assure you, no one wants to step in it.
The signs near the schools that say where you can and cannot park during pick up and drop off? Why in the world would you think they mean everyone but you? Stop parking directly under the “No Parking Sign” because we all know you won’t “just be a minute.” Also, if you park in a spot designed for wheelchair users or those with physical challenges, and you are not either? God have mercy on your soul because that is some lowlife behavior.
I’m not trying to be a hall monitor or some tattle tale, even if it does sound like it. I just think so many people are a little oblivious to what’s around them; I know I am completely clueless at times. We’re stressed, busy, or trying to multitask, and we all make mistakes. I was mortified once while I was waiting for a family member at an appointment and thought I was legally parked. I was using the time to devour a delicious sub sandwich from my favorite place. A cop stopped his cruiser and said, “You need to move, this is a cab stand.” I pulled the little slip of paper I got from the parking kiosk to show I paid, and he said, “That’s for the space behind you.” Oops.
Some days, it seems the whole world is one rule, sign, or obstacle after another, and we’re all fed up with being told what to do every time we turn around. Could we all try harder, though? By the way, that goes for the people reading the signs and the people who write them.
Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.
