In December, I celebrated the one-year anniversary of my transplant surgery. If you’ve read my blog, you know that it has been quite an eventful year. And none of it would have happened without the generous, heartbreaking sacrifice of my donor’s family.
I am asked quite frequently what I know about my donor, and the answer is: practically nothing. I know it was a young woman, and that she died in an accident. I don’t know if she chose to be an organ donor or if her family made the gut-wrenching decision themselves. All I know is that I’m very, very sorry for her death, but incredibly grateful to them for having made that choice. I can’t imagine the pain they went through.
When my husband, Tony, died, I told the hospital that he was an organ donor and that he wanted to donate whatever he could before cremation. When I got home that night, New England Donor Services (NEDS) called and interviewed me for an hour asking about his health history going all the way back to his childhood. I gave them as much information as I had, but there were some blank spaces that I just didn’t know. I offered to contact his siblings the next day for more information, but they declined since time was of the essence.
Did you know that the largest organ in the human body is your skin? Even if some of your other organs wouldn’t be eligible for donation, most people can donate skin, which is obviously helpful for burn victims, skin cancer victims, and I’m sure many other uses. Due to Tony’s health and age, it is unlikely that some organs were available, but certainly his skin was. And I’m glad about that.
I hope that those of you reading this have made the decision to become an organ donor. It’s very easy to do. You can sign up for that when you renew (or obtain for the first time) your driver’s license, or you can go to organdonor.gov and follow the instructions. I saved a text from my friend Maura when her 17-year-old son got his driver’s license. I had contacted her to congratulate him, and this was her response:
“Lisa, I want you to know that (M) is choosing to select ‘organ donor’ for his license. We had a nice conversation, and he brought up your transplants and how he would one day like to save someone else’s life if it came to that.”
Well, suffice it to say that my mouth dropped open when I read that, and I cried a little bit. I was so honored and proud that my story inspired someone else to become an organ donor. I’d like to ask that if you’re not already one, that you consider it. It obviously does save lives, including mine.
I strongly believe that being the recipient of such a generous donation carries a responsibility to ensure that the donation does not go to waste. For example, if I start drinking alcohol again, it WILL kill me. Also, eating a relatively low-fat diet is a smart idea, as the liver must work a little harder to process fat, so why make it work harder than it has to? I want to live a long life, but only if I’m not so sick that I have no quality of life. And that’s up to me to a large extent.
While I was recuperating, I wrote a letter to the donor family. No, I don’t know who they are, but NEDS gave me an envelope to use if I wanted to do that. The letter goes to NEDS, and they pass it along to the family. I provided my name, address, and phone number in case they wanted to contact me; so far, I haven’t heard from them. But that’s okay. I expressed my condolences, thanked them profusely, and promised them that I would honor the organs so that the sacrifice was not made in vain. I’m glad that at least they know that.
Organ donation saves lives. Be a savior. Thank you on other donees’ behalf.
Lisa Marchionda Fama is a retired attorney who has lived in Marblehead for seven years, loves this town, and hopes she never leaves. Visit her blog at TheSoberWidow.com.
