“Aging: Because adulting wasn’t enough. Now we get the ‘advanced level.” — Karen Salmansahn
When I looked for a topic for this week, I glanced at past columns so I wouldn’t repeat myself. As it happens, I’ve already repeated a topic. In June, I wrote about growing tomatoes, and I did that last week too; however, in my defense, I was just getting started in June. With the arrival of September, I realize it’s mostly over, and I’m pretty much a tomato failure. So we’re not going to call that a repeat, we’re going to call it a “series.”
Repeating oneself can be a sign of aging. All of my friends know to “stop me if you’ve heard this one” because usually, they have. My family doesn’t call me Dory for nothing. Yes, I will tell the same story two or three times. Yes, I will forget that I already asked my editor a question about the latest article on antiques and vintage items, and send her two more emails about the same issue. This led her to ask me recently, “Do you need more time off after hitting your head?”
Oh, ya, and falling down randomly for no reason is also a sign of getting older. Check that box. I’ve been there and done that. The falling down may be related to the random stiff knees, sore back, and neck pain that comes from “sleeping wrong”. Yes, in addition to being in the age bracket of people who shouldn’t get up too fast, it’s now possible for me to injure myself while sleeping.
Having beaten cancer, I don’t take anything for granted. I understand that aging is a privilege denied to many, and that any day above ground is a blessing. However, I was not aware that it would sneak up on me in small, insidious ways. I’ve always been a bit flaky, but man, the mental fog that sometimes shows up is mind-boggling. How does a person forget their kid’s birthdate? I was filling out some form and had to look up one of the kids’ DOBs. I’ll have no comment on which kid it was, but seriously, I only have three, how do I blank on three specific dates that are very important?
My hair has been grey for a long time, but I handled that by marching into my hairdresser’s with a picture of me when I was a redheaded five-year-old and saying, “Do this,” and she did. I know it’s silly to think that if my hair isn’t grey, then I’m still young, but hey, we all need a little denial in our lives, right?
Junk mail is a fact of life, but I used to get ads for cruises to the Caribbean. Now I get ads for AARP life insurance, pre-paid funeral plans, and estate planning. Does the Post Office know something I don’t? Still, I don’t want to sound like a cranky granny, because there’s a flip side to all this moaning and groaning, and it’s the holy grail of aging: the senior discount.
Literally, just for hitting a certain age, I get free coffee refills at Dunks. I can also go to Crosby’s on Tuesdays and get 10% off my whole order, and IHOP has an entire menu of senior-discounted meals. Looking around and finding out which places offer deals reminds me of when my kids were little and money was tight; we’d only go out to eat at places that offered “kids eat free” options. I also knew the “secret” at McDonald’s was that if a kid asked at the counter, the cashier would give them a tiny ice cream cone for free. One of my kids didn’t like ice cream, which was a bonus, since I still made him go up and get me one.
Aging shouldn’t be something we dread because if you look hard enough, there are good points to it. Isn’t a sore knee or a few memory lapses a small price to pay to still be here for your family? Getting to see your kids grow up and have these extraordinary lives, or be able to finally someday retire and enjoy the benefits of your years of hard work, is worth all of that and more. Oh, and someone recently told me that in Marblehead, I can join the Council on Aging and do all the fun stuff they do, like classes and bus trips to the casino. It’s already on my calendar; they have lunches and everything, so stay tuned, it could be another series.
Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.
