“The truly fashionable are beyond fashion.”
—Cecil Beaton
I’m not going to lie; almost nothing about me is fashionable.
I’m pretty basic. I have T-shirts, jeans, shorts, a few dressy blouses and pants, and one “little black dress.” Truthfully, the black dress isn’t that little; it’s a very loose, boxy thing I can wear to a funeral or a cocktail party. I could also smuggle cantaloupes in it because it’s so baggy.
There must be a gene that I am missing because, for me, fashion is a mystery. I don’t know what looks good and what doesn’t. I’ve accepted it, though, and realized a few essential truths.
Truth #1: It’s OK to not know something.
I envy people who always seem so put together. They don’t wear colors that clash or prints with stripes; they have accessories that complement whatever they’re wearing.
I’m having a good day if my socks match. It’s a challenge for me to find an outfit that’s not boring but not too edgy, something casual but not sloppy, affordable but not cheap — the requirements seem endless.
Fashion has a lot of rules. Why can’t you wear white shoes after Labor Day? Why are women told to “dress their age?” What does that even mean? I’m about to be 59 years old. What is the appropriate style for that age? Should I not wear crop tops?
The answer to that is a resounding yes, but it has nothing to do with my age. Once a woman is over 18, she should wear whatever she wants because she’s an adult.
Truth #2: Wearing table linens to a party is mortifying but not a crime.
Sometimes, I can’t tell the difference between table linens and clothing. I was shopping for something to wear to a friend’s party recently and found what I thought was a festive shawl/pashmina/scarf.
I was way out of my league trying to be “fashion forward.” I walked into the party, and after grabbing a drink, a few people were staring at me, but I didn’t know why until I saw the beautiful table runner on her sideboard. It was my shawl, right down to the tassels at the end.
Sure, there’s probably a rule against wearing a table runner as clothing, and I might have solidified my status as a full-on fashion disaster, but so what? I watch the red carpet coverage for the awards shows, and while I’m no celebrity icon, I also never showed up to an event wearing a stuffed swan around my neck.
Truth #3: I need adult Garanimals.
There should be a foolproof system. Does anyone else remember the children’s clothing line that had animals on the tags? The company put matching animal labels on sets — a giraffe, a lion, or a bear — and then the wearer knew that if they matched the animals, it was an outfit.
There was even a chart on the tags, so you knew which animals to mix and match. Zoology as fashion? It worked, and it was brilliant marketing because most people bought more than one piece.
Wouldn’t that be great for adults like me who still have no clue?
Truth #4: Clothes don’t make the person.
I’m still figuring out how to navigate my closet since I’ve recently lost a lot of weight. I might not be a fashionista, but even I know that clothes that don’t fit don’t look good on anyone. So I’m working my way through stores and trying to branch out from the basics.
I might not know what is fashionable, much less what is “beyond fashion,” but for once, I’m putting more effort into dressing myself than just mindlessly grabbing something and hoping for the best. However, I won’t stress over it — whatever I’m wearing, I’m still me.
Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years, and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.