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Brenda Kelley Kim.

FROM THE DEEP END: Gravity and grace

September 27, 2023 by Brenda Kelley Kim

“If you’re OK with being clumsy, it’s funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you.”
—Leo Howard

It’s often difficult for me to stay upright — part of it is a balance disorder I have — and part of it is just a complete lack of spatial awareness. I can’t dance either, and I was 10 years old before my father had to stop putting “R” and “L” on the inside of my shoes (and on my big toes.)

It’s frustrating when I have to hold handrails — with all their germs — watch my every step, and avoid bumpy brick sidewalks and tree roots. I adore high heels but only wear them with someone I can latch on to for stability. I call my favorite red stilettos “My sitting shoes.”

I’ve learned to manage it, and I haven’t taken an epic header in a while, but I can be a bit of a disaster in other ways. My kitchen is tiny, so navigating it is difficult without some grace and coordination. I have neither, so this is a problem.

I’ve only fallen once in my kitchen, and the upside of that is that now mopping is someone else’s job. However, I have managed to break way too many glasses and dishes, spill molten caramel all over the place, set a small fire, and, just the other day, cut my finger to the bone. The simple task of slicing a bagel went very badly for me.

I immediately texted my daughter, an EMT, with a picture and asked, “What’s the best way to stop the bleeding?” Her answer? “Stitches!” So off I went to urgent care. They were very friendly and assured me that “French bread thumb” and “BRIs” (bagel-related injuries) are common and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Now I’m rocking a splint, gauze, and tape on my left pointer finger. It’s interfering with typing, doom-scrolling through my cell phone, tying my shoes, and holding a coffee cup (I’m a two-hander with hot beverages). Still, it could be worse — if it were my right hand, I’d be on the injured reserve for badminton.

Between balance issues and other accidental moments, sometimes I think I’m the most awkward person on the planet and everyone must be making fun of me. But perhaps, as Howard suggests, I should just laugh at myself and take it all a little less seriously.

I have a home, food, good friends, and a family that tolerates my bloody kitchen moments and random gravity checks. None of my mishaps have been too terrible, thankfully, so perhaps I should give myself a little grace and laugh at what I can. It will all be just fine.

 

Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years, and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.

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