“All he needed was a wheel in his hand and four on the road.” — Jack Kerouac
I love a good road trip. I went on one recently in California, and while it was amazing, the freeway system out there completely traumatized me, and as a person who learned to drive in Boston, that is saying something. I also go to Vermont regularly. It’s one of my favorite trips, and even though it’s a four-hour drive, anytime the opportunity arises to go, I’m in. I prefer not to go in the winter, since the snow can be epic, but it’s happened. Once, there was a rogue snow squall that came out of nowhere, resulting in a 20-car pileup five minutes ahead of me. However, I was lucky and made it through without skidding off into a ditch.
It’s the little local trips that can bug me. Doing errands, going into the city, or hitting some thrift stores are the car rides that do my head in. Vinnin Square, I’m looking at you. How can a few strip malls, banks, and gas stations in one area become a hellscape? I’d sooner drive to Dorchester and have to park in Southie than hit up that area.
Having been born and raised in Massachusetts, I shouldn’t be surprised by rude drivers, traffic, construction, and other road issues. However, it seems to be getting worse lately, and I can’t figure out why. There is so much anger on the road sometimes. Then there are the drivers poking along in their bubble of oblivion. How hard is it to look before you change lanes in stop-and-go traffic? It was a bridge too far for the person who hit me last year. I literally watched her come into my lane; traffic was stopped in front of me and next to me, so I couldn’t go anywhere to avoid her. Blaring my horn didn’t work, and she drove right into me and said, “I didn’t see you.” We are all human, we all make mistakes, but I was gobsmacked. The cop responding told me it happens more than we can imagine.
When I used to write neuroscience articles, there were plenty of studies that showed multitasking isn’t a good idea. Our brains are not always equipped for it, and the more tasks you are trying to parse, the less attention each gets. So, for the love of all that is good and holy, please do not try to text and drive, put your makeup on in the rearview, or read the newspaper on your steering wheel. If your kids are acting up, pull over. If you can’t see the text on your GPS, pull over. If you are an idiot…ok, well, there’s no way to keep some idiots off the road, but come on.
I was stopped once by a police officer because he saw me pull over, “for no reason.” I showed him my phone and explained that it was an important call I had to answer, and I try not to use my phone while driving. He said he never saw anyone do that. Let’s make pulling over a new habit, just don’t park illegally. Yes, for some, it’s hard to ignore a call or a text. I get it. At times, when traffic was chaotic, I would lock my cell phone in the glove box. We got along without phones in cars for a hundred years; I promise it’s not that hard to manage.
Another problem with some drivers is when they stop the car and have to find a parking space. Some drivers, myself included, struggle with parallel parking, and that’s just reality. Others seem to struggle with basic literacy, such as those who park under the “No Parking” sign at school pickup, or who park in fire lanes and spots designated for those with permits due to health issues. If you can’t manage to follow basic signage, consider getting a bike, calling an Uber, or staying home.
I might sound pretty grumpy, but I can own it. I want people to be safe. I’ve given up on basic courtesy and a decent attitude, but it’s the holiday season. No one wants to be in an accident or cause an accident, right? So what if someone cut you off? Don’t rush ahead and brake check them. Swear all you want in your car, to yourself, and try to “go placidly amid the noise and the haste.”
Be safe, enjoy the ride, and wave at each other for no reason. We have enough going on in the world; let’s not turn a grocery store run or an epic road trip into a nightmare.
Brenda Kelley Kim has lived in Marblehead for 50 years and is an author, freelance writer, and mother of three. Her column appears weekly.
