When my niece Abbey was a tween, we used to play “Would You Rather.” The questions were fairly tame due to her age, with things like “would you rather wear pajamas or a nightgown to bed” in the beginning and “would you rather have wings like a bird or sticky feet like a lizard” toward the time she finally became bored with the game.
Once, she asked me, “Would you rather be deaf or blind?” For her, it was obvious – she didn’t want to lose her sight. I think she was shocked when I said “blind.” Because honestly, I could never live without music.
It’s been on my mind ever since I saw the Billy Joel documentary. I’ve been a fan of his since my college days when “The Stranger” came out. I can sing every line of every song, and I cherish the memories they evoke. It was a wonderful time in my life. And I highly recommend you watch it if you like his music. I learned a great deal about his life and how his music correlated with what he was experiencing at the time he wrote each song. They now take on a whole new meaning!
Music has such power over me. Even when I’m reading a book, I need background music playing. When I’m doing something around the house or cooking, it should be fun and lively. My favorite is classic rock, and I also like a lot of current hits. When I was studying for the bar exam (a lonely endeavor to be sure), it had to be something that wouldn’t break my concentration, so I chose classical. And it reignited my love for that genre. Some of it, like “Clare de Lune” by Debussy, makes me weep; it’s so beautiful.
I met some very significant people in my life when music was involved. Do you remember the early ’90s when karaoke was all the rage? I met my best friend at a karaoke bar in Boston when I was in law school and working at the Suffolk County D.A.’s office as an intern. She, in turn, introduced me to many people who are still close friends of mine. And one of them became my husband. He had a beautiful tenor voice, and we used to love singing duets together. There are a few songs I simply can’t bear to listen to, because although the memories are lovely, they are also too painful now that he’s gone.
Studies show the effect music has on people and on society. It can lift your mood, soothe and comfort you, reduce stress and improve sleep. Since music is so tied to memory, it can actually help with strengthening memory and attention. Most songs have an identifiable pattern (verse, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus) and therefore can help with pattern recognition. And as a result, musical people are generally also good at math.
When I got married, it was important to me that we had great music. I had been to a friend’s wedding where everyone was on the dance floor for the entire reception, so I booked the same band, and they were just as good. And if you’ve been to a wedding or other event where the music was so good you hummed it all the way home, you’ll agree that it greatly enhances the experience. When my family has a wedding or event, we make sure the band or DJ plays “We Are Family” and we all run to the dance floor together. Another example where music is a bonding occasion.
I’m close friends with a Greek family and whenever I attend their celebrations, there is usually a Greek band involved, and I’ve learned how to do their circle dances with them. It’s a shared cultural effect that makes me feel a part of the whole gang. And dancing is a great exercise and fun! My friends Diane and Bob were married in 1987, and I still recall that their DJ played nothing but Motown music the whole time. I don’t think I sat down once.
In Egypt, we saw ancient instruments like flutes and drums that were thousands of years old. Clearly, humankind has been driven to create music as long as humans have walked the earth. Whether it’s helping us through the worst of times or helping us find the joy, music plays an essential role in our lives. Now go turn on the radio!
Lisa Marchionda Fama is a retired attorney who has lived in Marblehead for seven years, loves this town, and hopes she never leaves. Visit her blog at TheSoberWidow.com.
