Lisa Fama
Do you like to travel? If so, do you confine your travel to domestic, or do you venture outside the U.S.? There certainly are so many areas to see in our big, beautiful country, and I know people who are in the process of visiting every state, knocking them off one by one. That’s dedication!
When I was working, I often had to travel for business. I saw many U.S. states that I otherwise wouldn’t have gone to on my own, for no reason other than opportunity (and frankly, desire). But I’m so glad I did. I’ve also lived in Illinois, Vermont, and Southern California, albeit not for long, but getting that exposure was terrific.
So far, I have 37 states under my belt, and I’d love to visit the rest, which I will do one day (I swear I’m not just saying that!). But travel when you’re alone on business is very different than leisure traveling while solo. My husband, Tony, and I have been all over the world together, and boy, we had fun. Now that he’s gone, I don’t want to curtail my international travel as there are so many places left that I haven’t been. Our 20th anniversary occurred during the height of COVID in 2020, so the tentative trip we had planned was scrapped, and we decided to go as soon as the travel ban was lifted. Unfortunately, I had already become ill with liver disease, and then I lost him to a massive heart attack.
After I recovered, I decided to go to Sicily, as planned. I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to come along, so I figured going alone would be similar to when I traveled on business. It wasn’t. When you’re working, you don’t have much downtime, so even if you eat alone, you can do so in your room while on your computer. Going to a beautiful place, with five-star restaurants and a town dedicated to tourism, while decidedly not working, is entirely different. So instead, I got to know the staff at the hotel, who loved showing me all around, and getting me the best table in the restaurants, and giving me a free cooking demonstration in the kitchen. I booked tours to places I wanted to go, and I met other people there and hung out with them a few times, but it was the staff I’ll remember fondly from that trip. They all came out to say goodbye when I checked out.
The same was true of Egypt, because I was alone then, too. I booked it with Viking because I didn’t want to go to a Middle Eastern country alone and unsupported. And being on a small river cruise let me get to know everyone on the ship. As you’ve probably guessed, I am not shy, so I had no trouble meeting people and making friends, and I never ate a meal by myself. It was great fun, and I’m still in touch with quite a few of them. But what do you do if you’re an introvert? Well, there are plenty of online tours for single people, and they will get you paired up with another single to share a room if you want (or not), and you have a built-in group to see the sights with and have your meals. It’s really a win/win.
Those solo travel groups are super helpful because they provide tips on safety, as well as cruise lines and tour groups that cater to solo travelers. It’s helpful and informative, because while I am eager to get out there, I don’t want to be ripped off by unscrupulous cab drivers or pay extra for a tour because I’m just one person. There is a lot of support out there (especially among women, since safety is more of an issue for us).
I have another trip scheduled for April 2026 to Southeast Asia, and I am going alone again. I did reach out to some friends, but most of them are still working. The cruise is the better part of a month, so I’ll just do the same thing I did for Egypt and hopefully meet some new friends there, too. People are much more relaxed when on vacation and more open to letting newbies into their circles.
A lot of people are surprised when they hear I travel alone, but I think that this is temporary. I look forward to having like-minded companions, because I know several friends who can’t wait to go places with me after they retire. For now, I’m not letting the fact that I can’t find a travel partner keep me from seeing all these new places and experiencing another culture, tasting new foods, and being entertained by unique music. The world is a big place, and I can’t wait to see it all! Where would you like to go?
Lisa Marchionda Fama is a retired attorney who has lived in Marblehead for seven years, loves this town, and hopes she never leaves. Visit her blog at TheSoberWidow.com.
