“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” — Henry David Thoreau
Last week, my Google Calendar, a document I sometimes seem to live and die by, was full of multicolored spots, each color corresponding to the kind of task expected for that day or time. Usually, it’s not that full, but it does happen.
All of my responsibilities that came up last week were taken care of, but every day I felt like I had to be mentally “on” and super aware of the details, and I could not afford to drop any of the balls I had in the air. If I forgot a Zoom call or a meeting, all the projects I had in progress might just collapse like a house of cards. Fortunately, I hit all the meetings, made all my deadlines, and even managed to get to the grocery store before the storm, without having to play Frogger with a shopping cart in the Market Basket parking lot.
When I was telling a friend about my calendar, he showed me his, and it made my schedule look like a half-day of preschool activities. I know we shouldn’t compare, but I think the state of being “busy” is much more fluid and relative than we might think. Like most topics, busy is in the eye of the beholder.
I felt a little overwhelmed and frazzled, because if I have five pieces of writing work to do, I can do that, at home, at my desk. I have it set up so I can pound out the work and be mostly in my head. When my schedule involves meetings, in-person and online, and events where I have to leave the house, it’s a different kind of busy. This week, I had several meetings, three medical appointments, two musical bingo/trivia shows that I do as a side hustle, and one badminton match where scoring points and not falling down are required.
I’m not complaining a bit about any of it. Even the writing projects were extra interesting this week, and I liked working on them. Badminton and trivia shows are fun; I always enjoy them. My only real stressors were the medical appointments, which thankfully went well, and making sure I took good notes in the meetings because I will need them. Jobs that require more mental work than physical work can still be a heavy load. When there is a mix of both, it’s an organizational obstacle course I’m not always able to complete.
I’m someone who normally loves being around people. This week challenged me on that; when I’m with people, I have to remember who they are, what they want, and why I’m there. In one instance, it was a party I had at my house. It was great fun, at least that’s what everyone said, but it still got in my head, adding its own kind of stress.
When we tell someone, “No, that won’t work, I’m just too busy,” I believe we should say what busy means for us. The day after my little gathering, I had almost nothing on my schedule, so I used that time to lie around in my jammies, cruise eBay without buying anything because I’m a girl on a budget, and binge a few shows on Netflix. Most people would look at a day like that and think I did nothing. I disagree. Having a day to mentally reset your head, take a break from all the To Do lists, and recharge is just as much of a task as creating a spreadsheet or writing a press release; it just looks different.
It’s also much harder to manage for many; it isn’t always possible to build in enough downtime, but it’s essential. Going forward, I might make up a category for my calendar like “Mental Maintenance,” the same as I have for my car and my house. If our heads are on straight, we are much more efficient, so don’t feel like a slacker when you have a day that isn’t what busy looks like for other people. You’re still “taking care of busy-ness.”
