“It takes a village to raise a child.” — African Proverb
Every parent has heard this quote, and most would say it’s true in a general sense. Think about all the people in our lives who interact with and impact our children. Teachers, doctors, coaches, scout leaders, and, of course, family and friends are all integral parts of their lives.
My children are grown now, and while they still seek my advice or raid my cabinets for groceries when they visit, my work is mostly done. My job as their mom now is just to be here when they show up and answer the phone when they call, especially if it’s one of my boys, who I don’t hear from that often (insert stern face and mom guilt if either of you sees this.) Of course, I still cheer them on for all the amazing moments in their lives, but I’m no longer the person who does their wash, packs them a lunch, and signs the permission slips.
If this parenthood gig were a corporate job, my role now is an assistant in some corner cubicle, only called on to change the copier paper. I’m not the chief operating officer I used to be, managing all the moving parts. I’m okay with it, though. I loved being around for them when they were little, and I miss the sandbox days now and then, but time impacts memories. I have this idyllic vision in my head of yard toys, beach days, and bike rides. It was like that — on some days. Other days, it was as if I were herding a group of raccoons on Red Bull, hoping none of them would bite me.
I like this quote, but it only goes so far. Regardless of age, we all need a village behind us. Recently, I learned that I am now old enough to not only stand up too fast and fall over but also to be a member of the local Council on Aging. I’ve volunteered with older adults before, but being on the other side is a little odd. Still, if you are over 55, get over there because they have lunches, trips, activities, and so much more.
The first time I went to a Tuesday lunch, I noticed that while some of the seniors might use a walker or a cane, none of them lacked the ability to be welcoming, tell incredible stories, and, at least at my table, unafraid of using vocabulary that spoke to my profanity-laced soul. I don’t know why I pictured a bunch of people in wheelchairs, eating pureed food; it wasn’t that way at all.
Even if you haven’t reached the age for a COA membership, we all still need our village. What about those who have no children? Should the village turn its back on them? Of course not. We may not be sending in cards for teacher appreciation week anymore, or helping a high schooler navigate the college process, but where would any of us be without our village? Here are just a few of the many villagers who make my life easier.
- Letter carriers and Amazon delivery people. There’s never been any judgment or bad attitude from any of the Amazon drivers who routinely lug packages to my doorstep. When we got a new letter carrier on our route, he dropped a card in the mailbox with a lovely photo of his family and said he was looking forward to getting to know the families on his route.
- Sanitation workers: Was it difficult during the recent strike? Yes, it was, but I include in this category the workers at the town transfer station who handled residents’ concerns, and worked their butts off helping to manage the weekly trash. The Republic crew that comes to my house, once they returned, noticed that our wee pug Penny was no longer in the window, and were genuinely compassionate when they learned she had passed away.
- First Responders: Okay, this one seems obvious, and yes, I am biased since my daughter is a paramedic, but these workers, the medics, EMTs, firefighters, cops, and dispatchers, work in almost constant chaos. My kid rappelled into a trash compactor to treat and evacuate someone who fell in. The literal and figurative swamp they navigate daily is something we should all be grateful for.
If you are a parent, you likely have a village of helpers, but if you aren’t? Look around, I promise they are out there. You are not alone in this life, even if it sometimes seems that way. Seek them out, and you can be part of their village too. We all need that connection.
