As I’ve shared, I recently took Introduction to Psychology at a local university because I never took it in college, and I’d been very curious about it. One of the components is about procrastination, which took me way back. At one time in my life, I was practically a professional procrastinator, especially in school. Studying for an exam, writing a paper, starting a project? Let’s put it off as long as possible! I’m smart, I’ll figure it out when the time comes. The problem was that the time came, and I had to cram weeks’ worth of work into one or two nights. Often, the fact that I did it at the last minute reflected that in the outcome.
As part of an assignment, we had to watch a video of procrastination in a TEDx talk by Tim Urban. Just Google those words and you’ll find the video. It’s very funny but insightful, and made so much sense when you look at procrastination from his perspective. He describes procrastination as not just a time management issue, but rather, emotional regulation problem. For example, we fear the bad grades or the negative reactions to what we have to do. This fear, in turn, paralyzes us into inaction. It’s far easier to get distracted by instant gratification (Urban calls this the “instant gratification monkey” who likes to play instead of work), and it’s only when the deadline is imminent that the “panic monster” takes hold and makes us address the matter, scaring away the monkey (I swear it’s cute).
One thing that motivates me is a deadline, and it wasn’t until I started working at my first real job that I got serious about it. Now, I wasn’t just accountable for a grade in a class, but for not keeping the job if I screwed up. For some people, that’s all it takes. For others, even that isn’t enough of a reason to put in their best effort. It usually doesn’t happen overnight; you may need to screw up a little before you finally see the light.
Aaaaaand, I was always late for everything. I am not a morning person and never have been, so I used to hit that snooze button a bunch of times before actually getting out of bed. But when you’re young, you don’t have a healthy respect for other people’s time, which is just as valuable as yours. Once I got married, it was a wake-up call (no pun intended) to have a partner who was compulsively early. I had to adjust quickly, and he was right to insist that I do, so I didn’t make HIM late. And now, although he’s been gone for over two years, I’m still very early everywhere I go.
I think the two are connected, because if you’re late, you’ve procrastinated getting out the door. According to Tim Urban, deadlines are helpful to a point, but you must understand your reasons for putting things off. If you zero in on it, you’re more likely to address it and then take action.
The job I retired from was very deadline-oriented. One of my tasks was to handle customer complaints and dissatisfaction. The clients are lawyers and law firm staff. They are very vocal about things they do not like (often very technical matters that involve government rules), and in the mid-90s, when I first started working there, complaints were sent to us in the form of snail-mailed letters. This meant that by the time we got them, the client had blown off their steam and was quite pleasant when I reached out to them by phone to discuss it.
That all changed when email came to town. We had a policy of responding to a complaint within 24 hours. Therefore, calling them when we received the email resulted in a heated person on the other end of that phone. My diplomacy skills were put to great use.
Why didn’t I put it off, you ask? Well, one of my coping skills regarding procrastination was to address the more unpleasant parts of my job immediately instead of delaying. That way, I had the hard part of my day over with before lunch. This worked so well that it’s become a habit I practice now, even in retirement.
If this is an issue that challenges you, try taking that approach. I know, some things are much harder than others, but start small. You’ll feel better, I guarantee it!
Lisa Marchionda Fama is a retired attorney who has lived in Marblehead for seven years, loves this town, and hopes she never leaves. Visit her blog at TheSoberWidow.com.
